Worship

There are some days that my heart leaps at the thought of the Lord. I can confess...no, not every day..but some days. Today is one of those days...I just want to run screaming down the street "GOD IS GOOD" but I don't think that would encourage or direct anyone's attention to God...just to me, and they might think i'm on drugs, which in turn would be a stumbling block.. HOWEVER, I can write this silly little blog, post a few scriptures on my facebook and twitter, text a few friends and let them know i'm holding them up in prayer today. I can get on my face and laugh and cry and thank my heavenly Father...SO I WILL.

As I type this, I hurt for those who have never and will never experience this INCOMPARABLE and UNEXPLAINABLE joy. Close friends, close family, even church members...will miss this. Why? Well that's pretty simple actually. Pride. Fear. Doubts. Lust. Lies.

I use to wonder how some had so much joy for Christ and I didn't. It would piss me off, to be quite honest. Then one day someone told me, it wasn't God who was choosing not to reveal himself to me...but it was ME being too wrapped up in myself to allow Him to reveal himself to me... It was as if I was too concerned with watching my favorite movie, that I completely missed the BEST episode on TV. That episode won't be on hulu, I didn't record it, there will never be a re-run. It's done and gone. One day another episode like it will come, and it too will be the BEST, but I have to stop watching my "favorite movie" to see it. Silly comparison I know, but hopefully you get the picture.

Don't pass up another chance at joy created and designed specifically for YOU. Let God pour down His abundant love on you. Let Him bless you.

I promise it'll be the best thing you have ever experienced. Scout's honor!

Dad's

I was blessed with an AMAZING earthly Father. One who loves me deeply, prays for me constantly and catches me when I fall. Not everyone get to say this about their Father...It breaks my heart. So for all of you men out there, be this kind of Dad...and if you are not a man or won't be having children...pass this along. More people need to hear this...

50 Rules for Dads of Daughters 

By Michael Mitchell

1. Love her mom. Treat her mother with respect, honor, and a big heaping spoonful of public displays of affection. When she grows up, the odds are good she’ll fall in love with and marry someone who treats her much like you treated her mother. Good or bad, that’s just the way it is. I’d prefer good.

2. Always be there. Quality time doesn’t happen without quantity time. Hang out together for no other reason than just to be in each other’s presence. Be genuinely interested in the things that interest her. She needs her dad to be involved in her life at every stage. Don’t just sit idly by while she add years to her… add life to her years.

3. Save the day. She’ll grow up looking for a hero. It might as well be you. She’ll need you to come through for her over and over again throughout her life. Rise to the occasion. Red cape and blue tights optional.

4. Savor every moment you have together. Today she’s crawling around the house in diapers, tomorrow you’re handing her the keys to the car, and before you know it, you’re walking her down the aisle. Some day soon, hanging out with her old man won’t be the bees knees anymore. Life happens pretty fast. You better cherish it while you can.

5. Pray for her. Regularly. Passionately. Continually.

6. Buy her a glove and teach her to throw a baseball. Make her proud to throw like a girl… a girl with a wicked slider.

7. She will fight with her mother. Choose sides wisely.

8. Go ahead. Buy her those pearls.

9. Of course you look silly playing peek-a-boo. You should play anyway.

10. Enjoy the wonder of bath time.

11. There will come a day when she asks for a puppy. Don’t over think it. At least one time in her life, just say, “Yes.”

12. It’s never too early to start teaching her about money. She will still probably suck you dry as a teenager… and on her wedding day.

13. Make pancakes in the shape of her age for breakfast on her birthday. In a pinch, donuts with pink sprinkles and a candle will suffice.

14. Buy her a pair of Chucks as soon as she starts walking. She won’t always want to wear matching shoes with her old man.

15. Dance with her. Start when she’s a little girl or even when she’s a baby. Don’t wait ‘til her wedding day.

16. Take her fishing. She will probably squirm more than the worm on your hook. That’s OK.

17. Learn to say no. She may pitch a fit today, but someday you’ll both be glad you stuck to your guns.

18. Tell her she’s beautiful. Say it over and over again. Someday an animated movie or “beauty” magazine will try to convince her otherwise.

19. Teach her to change a flat. A tire without air need not be a major panic inducing event in her life. She’ll still call you crying the first time it happens.

20. Take her camping. Immerse her in the great outdoors. Watch her eyes fill with wonder the first time she sees the beauty of wide open spaces. Leave the iPod at home.

21. Let her hold the wheel. She will always remember when daddy let her drive.

22. She’s as smart as any boy. Make sure she knows that.

23. When she learns to give kisses, she will want to plant them all over your face. Encourage this practice.

24. Knowing how to eat sunflower seeds correctly will not help her get into a good college. Teach her anyway.

25. Letting her ride on your shoulders is pure magic. Do it now while you have a strong back and she’s still tiny.

26. It is in her nature to make music. It’s up to you to introduce her to the joy of socks on a wooden floor.

27. If there’s a lake near your home, take her there often. She will be drawn to the water like a duck to a puddle.

28. She will eagerly await your return home from work in the evenings. Don’t be late.

29. If her mom enrolls her in swim lessons, make sure you get in the pool too. Don’t be intimidated if there are no other dads there. It’s their loss.

30. Never miss her birthday. In ten years she won’t remember the present you gave her. She will remember if you weren’t there.

31. Teach her to roller skate. Watch her confidence soar.

32. Let her roll around in the grass. It’s good for her soul. It’s not bad for yours either.

33. Take her swimsuit shopping. Don’t be afraid to veto some of her choices, but resist the urge to buy her full-body beach pajamas.

34. Somewhere between the time she turns three and her sixth birthday, the odds are good that she will ask you to marry her. Let her down gently.

35. She’ll probably want to crawl in bed with you after a nightmare. This is a good thing

36. Few things in life are more comforting to a crying little girl than her father’s hand. Never forget this.

37. Introduce her to the swings at your local park. She’ll squeal for you to push her higher and faster. Her definition of “higher and faster” is probably not the same as yours. Keep that in mind.

38. When she’s a bit older, your definition of higher and faster will be a lot closer to hers. When that day comes, go ahead… give it all you’ve got.

39. Holding her upside down by the legs while she giggles and screams uncontrollably is great for your biceps. WARNING: She has no concept of muscle fatigue.

40. She might ask you to buy her a pony on her birthday. Unless you live on a farm, do not buy her a pony on her birthday. It’s OK to rent one though.

41. Take it easy on the presents for her birthday and Christmas. Instead, give her the gift of experiences you can share together.

42. Let her know she can always come home. No matter what.

43. Remember, just like a butterfly, she too will spread her wings and fly some day. Enjoy her caterpillar years.

44. Write her a handwritten letter every year on her birthday. Give them to her when she goes off to college, becomes a mother herself, or when you think she needs them most.

45. Learn to trust her. Gradually give her more freedom as she gets older. She will rise to the expectations you set for her.

46. When in doubt, trust your heart. She already does.

47. When your teenage daughter is upset, learning when to engage and when to back off will add years to YOUR life. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

48. Ice cream covers over a multitude of sins. Know her favorite flavor.

49. She will like boys. This day is coming soon. There’s nothing you can do to be ready for it. The sooner you accept this fact, the easier it will be.

50. Today she’s walking down the driveway to get on the school bus. Tomorrow she’s going off to college. Don’t blink.

Broken things need fixing

Today was one of those days that the moment you get out of bed, you wish you never had. I woke up at 5:30am to make my wonderful husband his breakfast and pack his lunch, took our sweet little doggie for a walk and then crawled back into bed. A few hours later, when I decided to check the time, realized I had slept through my second alarm!! Jumped in the shower and rushed to good ole San Jac to finish my piece on the company. 5 minutes there I was ready to punch a few of the dancers in the face...I'm awful, I know.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't such a people pleaser or that I didn't always look for the best in people or that I didn't trust people so easily...but I am...that's who I have been designed to be.

After time and time again of not being able to please everyone, being disappointed in others choices...the reasons are endless...I STILL DON'T CHANGE MY EXPECTATIONS.
Why? Why do I desire to constantly fix every broken relationship I have walked through...EVEN IF IT WAS UNHEALTHY? Ex boyfriends, friends who have hurt me deeply, wounds that are STILL being healed? Why do I insist on becoming everyone's best friend? Why do I obsess over making sure your heart is pleased?

When I brought these questions up tonight in our car ride to the church...my patient husband (after I ranted for 30 minutes) so flawlessly and efortlessly said  "We were created for unity."
Why didn't I think of that...
Our creator designed us to crave the good, crave the perfect, crave the beautiful. Why? Because it's who He is! Of course we wan't to fix things, we know they're broken. We see the flaws and we don't find joy in those. Knowing that doesn't make it easier when we get hurt...but it does give us hope. One day we will live in unity. One day every knee will bow and there will be NO more tears.

Until then, I will be the person who will stalk you on facebook...comment on every other status and every other picture. Be over joyed when you tell me the littlest thing. Cry why someone unintentionally hurts my feelings. Text and call you even if I don't particularly like you at that moment. Smile even if I want to cry. Pray even if I don't feel like it. And worship even in the storm.

I love you. More than you know. I do wish the best for you...even if I hate you right now...i'll get over it and I will forgive you...because God is making a new creation..and I don't want to miss it.

Life

Last night as I sat watching my baby brother sing in his "last, first concert" of his high school career I couldn't hold back tears. Joyful tears, proud tears, grieving tears, growing tears...they came in waves. Now before you start rolling your eyes at the drama, hear my heart. Life is incredibly time consuming, and an incredible time stealer. It felt like just yesterday I was the one rushing like a mad woman to get dressed, dashing out the door and into the choir room for MY last, first choir concert...nope that was not yesterday, that was 5 YEARS AGO!? How did this happen? How did I miss so much time?

I love how the Lord speaks. So subtle but yet so loud. He reminded me, gently, where I had been during the lost time. Wrapped up in some silly boy. Consumed at some ridiculous party. So selfishly unaware that soon my little brothers would be men. Yes, it felt like a ton of bricks came flying through my heart and dropping pieces into my gut. But as I sat there the Lord, in all His goodness, handed me more time. Time to draw closer to Him. Time to thank my mom for her patience and deep love for me when I slammed doors in her face and called her all sorts of names. Time to love on my dad for all the wisdom he poured into me, even when I refused to hear it. Time to watch my brothers peruse their dreams through the gifts granted to them. Time to bask in the gift of marriage, with an amazing husband who loves me and serves me and prays over me. Time to rejoice in the lives of friends and grieve alongside them when needed. Time to encourage and lift up, mentor and guide. Time to preach and teach. Time to live the life God has created and ordained for me. I don't want to miss it. I don't want a second to go by that I wasn't aware of.

James 4:13-17 says "what is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little while, then vanishes"

Don't let life pass you by. Don't miss anymore blessings or opportunities. Dont miss out on GOD. He is jealous for you.

Love

Sometimes I have to remember why I love.


This weekend/week has had some hurt intertwined with my life. Things people have said, things people have done, hurt..and the hurt ran deep...unleashed my insecurities, stolen my joy, allowed anger to overtake my thoughts. A bunch of nastiness. So, naturally, I want to throw my hands up in the air, stop loving them, stop investing my time and energy into them OR yell at them, hurt them for hurting me. Why? Because "hurt people, hurt people." But as I think these thoughts the Lord gently reminds me why I love...I love because God is love...when I love, God moves in and through me. When I love, I become so close to God's heart I can feel it beating.


One of my favorite scriptures comes from Romans 12:9  
"Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply" 


It's what I have been called to do, what I have been created for...to love and to LOVE DEEPLY. He doesn't ask me to love only when it's easy, or only when I feel like it...but to love deeply, from the center of my very being. So yes, sometimes "love hurts"...God TOO is pained when we turn our backs, when we lay Him aside...and yet He chose to love us, to give His son up for us while we were still sinners, hateful, spiteful, two-faced.


This is why I can love. 


He reminds me "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first." John 15:18


I love because God loves me. I love because I want to be close to Him. I love because He teaches me how. God is love, and that reason alone is why I love.  When I am hurt DEEPLY, I must love DEEPER. 

Tattoos

I have a tattoo on my left wrist that says "beloved" this word is a word that God has spoken to me and over me. A word that reminds me who I am and who I belong to. A word that brings peace, comfort, healing, encouragement. This is a word that starts up conversations with others, a ministry tool...I am an artist. Singing, dancing, teaching...this tattoo is seen. For those who knows what it means, it's a reminder...for those who don't it's an open door... But is it biblical? Is it acceptable?
Some friends AND family would like to say that it's not..it's sinful...etc. They bring up scripture...but either have not yet read through the entirty of scripture as a whole or refuses to fully grasp the meaning behind these words...I found this...written by a Minister in California. I think it is beautifully written:

Tattoo And The Bible

Christians with tattoos, Christian tattoos and Christian tattooists, what does the Bible teach about the current style of body décor?   If the Scriptures tell us that tattooing is a behavior that God says is wrong in any way, then it's certainly off limits for God's followers. But doesthe Bible teach that God forbids tattoos and other cosmetic body modifications?

The main scripture that concerns many people with regards to tattooing is this verse from the remarkable Old Testament book of Leviticus

“You shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves: I am the LORD.”Leviticus 19:28 — New American Standard

At first glance this passage seems to indicate that tattoo is forbidden for Christians. To comprehend the Scripture correctly, we must always examine the whole of Scripture and look at the particular context of a given passage. If we neglect deep study we will never truly understand the intent of the author.   We need to look at the word(s) of the above passage in full connection with the surrounding verses, and in context with the historic setting at the time of its writing. When we study below the surface of this text, we then will see more clearly what God says about tattoo. The verse quoted above is part of a larger passage of scripture seen here.

²⁶ ‘You shall not eat anything with the blood, nor practice divination or soothsaying. ²⁷ You shall not round off the side-growth of your heads nor harm the edges of your beard. ²⁸ ‘You shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves: I am the LORD. ²⁹ ‘Do not profane your daughter by making her a harlot, so that the land will not fall to harlotry and the land become full of lewdness. ³⁰ ‘You shall keep My sabbaths and revere My sanctuary; I am the LORD. ³¹ ‘Do not turn to mediums or spiritists; do not seek them out to be defiled by them. I am the LORD your God.Leviticus 19:26–31 — New American Standard

In this passage God is speaking to his covenant people Israel. He is specifically telling them to stay far from the religious practices of the surrounding people groups. The prohibited religious practices in these verses include eating bloody meat, fortune telling, certain hair cuts related to the priests of false cults, cutting or marking the body for dead relatives, cultic prostitution and consulting psychics. All these practices would lead God's beloved people away from Him and toward false gods that were not Gods at all. In the midst of this context we find the word translated “tattoo marks” in verse 28. It is important to note here that the context of this passage is not one of body décor but one of marking one's self in connection with cultic religious worship. Bible commentaries tell us much about the eastern religious practices that God was warning His people to shun.

These prohibitions seem to relate to pagan religious customs which should be avoided, including pagan mourning rites (vv. 27-28)Walvoord, J. F., Zuck, R. B., & Dallas Theological Seminary. (1983–c1985). The Bible knowledge commentary: An exposition of the scriptures. Wheaton, IL: Victor Books.

The practice of making deep gashes on the face and arms and legs, in time of bereavement, was universal among the heathen, and it was deemed a becoming mark of respect for the dead, as well as a sort of propitiatory offering to the deities who presided over death and the grave. The Jews learned this custom in Egypt, and though weaned from it, relapsed in a later and degenerate age into this old superstition (Is 15:2; Je 16:6; 41:5). “nor print any marks upon you” (v:28 )—by tattooing, imprinting figures of flowers, leaves, stars, and other fanciful devices on various parts of their person. The impression was made sometimes by means of a hot iron, sometimes by ink or paint, as is done by the Arab females of the present day and the different castes of the Hindus. It it probable that a strong propensity to adopt such marks in honor of some idol gave occasion to the prohibition in this verse; and they were wisely forbidden.Jamieson, R., Fausset, A. R., Fausset, A. R., Brown, D., & Brown, D. (1997). A commentary, critical and explanatory, on the Old and New Testaments. On spine: Critical and explanatory commentary. (Le 19:28). Oak Harbor, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.

“Make any cuttings in your flesh” (v:28): the reference here is to the practice of making deep gashes in the skin while mourning the death of a relative. This was done to provide life blood for the spirit of the dead person rather than to express sorrow. On account of the dead: as indicated above, this describes the purpose of all the actions in verse 27 as well as verse 28.Péter-Contesse, R., & Ellington. (1992). A handbook on Leviticus. UBS handbooks; Helps for translating (Page 296). New York: United Bible Societies.

The “tattoo” marks described in Leviticus 19:28 were clearly related to false religious practices. The word translated tattoo in our English Bibles is the Hebrew word “qa aqa”, this word appears only one time in the Bible, here in this passage Leviticus. The word “qa aqa” means literally “to cut” but taken with the surrounding words indicates a cutting that left a mark imprinted in the skin. This could have been a form of branding, scarring, cutting or a process where ink was inlaid into the skin; there is not enough data to fully define exactlywhat this word meant. However we translate the word “qa aqa” though, in this passage, it is certainly used in the context of cultic religious worship. The prohibition against “qa aqa”, (translated tattoo) was to keep the Israelites from being involved or affiliated with cultic worship practices.

The tattoo of today is much different than it was for those who originally received the Pentateuch. Today tattoo is a decorative means of self expression and personal decoration. In our current culture people modify their appearance for beauty in many ways such as clothing choice, makeup, plastic surgery, haircutting and coloring, weight loss, body-building, and ear piercing.   Some of these practices have a history in ancient ritual and false religion, but in our cultural context they do not denote a connection with evil or false faith. In the same way tattoos today do not link the wearer to cultic worship practices and is not generally practiced for ancient religious purposes, tattoos today are for ornamentation.

A further reason to believe Christians are free to tattoo their bodies is that New Testament believers are not bound by the Old Testament laws to gain or regain right relationship with God. If we were to obey the laws of the Old Testament we would also be bound by rules that would restrict shellfish and pork eating, hairstyles, wearing of clothes made from two different fabrics, even eating cheese on hamburgers (yes, it is true). Some also feel that modifying the body somehow defiles God's creation, but if this was true would it be right to pierce ears, correct a club foot, cut hair, clip nails, get a tan or use orthodontia? Each of the previously mentioned practices modifies the way we were originally created, some permanently. Getting a tattoo is a deeply personal choice that falls in the category of personal appearance and is vitally connected to the freedom of the believer. The Apostle Paul reminds us that the Old Testament Law was designed by God was to lead people toward Jesus. Now that Jesus has come and set us free, we are not under the law for our good standing with God. Our right standing before God comes from placing our trust in Jesus’ death on the cross to pay for our debts, not on following the Old Testament regulations.

²⁴ Therefore the Law has become our tutor to lead us to Christ, so that we may be justified by faith. ²⁵ But now that faith has come, we are no longer under a tutor.Galatians 3:24–25 — New American Standard

As New Testament followers of Jesus we are not under restriction in the area of personal décor.

Tattoo of today can describe images that merely please the wearer, or have deeper meaning to the owner. Many Christians today are tattooing themselves not in tribute to a false idol or anti-Christian deity, but with love for the one true God and Creator. Many today utilize this permanent marking a way of giving glory to God. Some find that Christian tattoos attract questions about faith and provide opportunities to give God glory by allowing the story-telling of His Love to those who aren’t convinced yet. See, hear, and experience the testimonies of Tattooed followers of Jesus.

A parting thought about tattoo and younger people

Tattoo is a significant life-choice and should be only entered into with a great deal of forethought. Some questions to ask yourself if you are young and considering a tattoo are:

• Am I legally of an age to get a tattoo?
• If I live with my parents, would my parents support my decision?
• Would I be defying the authority God gave my parents over me at my current age?
• Would I still want this particular image when I get older?
• What if my future mate wouldn't like having to see this image for a lifetime?
• Would this tattoo be in an area of my body that would be plainly visible? – Many peopledo unfairly judge people with tattoos as being “second-class.”
• Would this image bring God glory?
• Do I feel fully convinced that tattoos are allowable for Christians?

May ALL things bring Glory to our great God and Sovereign Lord, Jesus the Christ.

Pastor Chuckk Gerwig
Pastor to Students and their Families
Santa Cruz Bible Church
Santa Cruz, California

Today.

Thank you God for a beautiful day. Today, God was with me. Today, I listened to His voice. Today, I feel like God is pleased with me. Today, my heart is good. I loved today...
If only my voice would come back, and it would stop hurting. :/ Tylenol PM...here I come.

On a humorous note...I read this today and it's all too true!!

DARLING HUSBAND, I PROMISE…

"…to keep mum about all the Hall & Oates tunes on your iPod."

"…to overlook the fact that you yawn like Chewbacca."

"…that five minutes after I agree to watch a game with you, I will not start asking, 'Are you planning to watch the whole thing?'" 

"…to Swiffer your side of the bed the next time you're out of town and I let the dog sleep there."

"…not to make you play Peter Pan to my Wendy on Halloween again. You did look gay."

DARLING WIFE, I PROMISE…

"…that I didn't know how expensive your tweezers were when I used them to pull that mystery clump out of the drain." 

"…to stop pretending I've forgotten how to fold the towels 'the right way' (a.k.a. your way)."

"…to accept that sometimes when you ask for a massage, you really just want a massage." 

"…to understand that it's not exactly kosher to say, 'How did parents as crazy as yours get a daughter as normal as you?'"

"…to never again make honking noises as I grab your breasts."

Conspiracies.

I am sick to my stomach over people who think everything in life is a conspiracy theory...
Basically they have looked hurt and broken husbands, wives, parents, siblings and children and said "they died for nothing more than a lie" or "they are nothing but a lie". I in turn want to say to them, get off your high horse. You do NOT have all of the answers and you are NOT living a life worthy of honor. I too do not have all of the answers but I refuse to point fingers and place blame. I believe in the good of man and I will encourage others to do the same.

For you.

Dear friend,


"God is NOT happy with disaster, death, disease, divorce...it breaks His heart. Scripture says that He is near to the broken hearted. Why? Not to sprinkle pixie dust and say, all better...but to comfort us and cry along with us. He promises that one day when "every knee bows" we will have everlasting life...every tear will be wiped away and we will live in TRUE PEACE.

There will be days when life hurts. Babies die every day, innocent 5 year olds are diagnosed with cancer. God did not plan for that. He cried and said, one day it will be better. One day you will see her again, but for now I promise to hug you and comfort you....but if we don't ACCEPT the hug and the words...then that is our fault not His.

I hope and pray that you will choose Him. I can't take the pain away, or give you 10 steps to fix life's promises. But I can tell you that there is much more comfort knowing that the creator of the heavens, earth, sun, moon, ocean, stars...is crying with you and loves you MORE than creation.

Go read the book Crazy Love by Frances Chan. It's an easy read and it will help you to understand God's love. DO IT. PLEASE.

I love you. I'm praying for you."

Love, 

Me

Death.

Death hurts. Death breaks people down. Death is NOT God created. 


1 Corinthians 15:54-57 When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written: “Death is swallowed up in victory.” “O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?” The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.


^ this scripture says "WHEN the mortal puts on immorality" "THEN shall come to pass"...right now, there is sting, death has won...we are living in a sinful world. God is NOT happy with death. God is NOT pleased with death. He does NOT find joy in death.


We look at the story of Lazarus. 

John 11:33-36

 ³³ When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. ³⁴ “Where have you laid him?” he asked.
   “Come and see, Lord,” they replied.
 ³⁵ Jesus wept.

JESUS WEPT!!! He did not correct them in hurting, He too was hurting. Death is NOT a good thing. God is not to blame for this. God is near to the brokenhearted weeps alongside us. Run into His arms, not away with a blaming mouth. He did not create this. 


Michelle Patterson put it best in her song "In love with forever"

My heart was not made to endure such distress
the grief and the tearing and the dying of death 
and I can't comprehend that i'm without that one 
I was in love with forever 
I was in love with forever


I was not designed to filter this pain 
with any sense made of it or good to be gained 
and I don't understand this harsh parting of ways 
I was in love with forever 
I was in love with forever


They say You don't ask us to do anything 
that cannont be done, but this cannont be done 
my heart will be bleeding all over this mess
I am in love with forever 
I am in love with forever


Long as i'm wasting and falling apart 
long as I'm hoping for hope for my heart 
long as my feet are still touching this dirt 
i'll be in love with forever 
i'll be in love with forever


Don't blame God for this. He didn't create it...sin created it. God has LIFE designed for His children. One day...we will live and live forever in the way God has created us to live. 

Forgiveness.

I forgave an old friend today. A friend who put herself before me. A friend who allowed my heart to hurt and not care. A friend who lied and twisted words to her benefit. I prayed for her, with genuine love. With words that have spoken over me when I put myself first, when I have hurt others hearts and not cared. I forgave her because I wanted to breathe...and now I can. My heart is good. My heart is light. My heart is happy. Forgiveness is for me, not for her. I choose to let it go, and let her live and in turn let me live.

Thank you Jesus for this freedom you have given me.

What a day

I have a nasty sinus infection that has taken over my life. gross. go away. But, tried to make the most of my day anyways.

Headed to Novel Approach this morning to gather scrap booking goodies for my surprise present for my dad's 60th! So excited to be giving it to him...I hope he cries. Is that awful? Had a lovely heart talk with the manager, Melissa Pride. She is so great. Go be her friend.

Once getting home I got a call from my mentor/director/close friend, Jessica with good news :) I love receiving good news. The dance company/training/discipleship program that we have been praying for is going to be supported by Kingdom Heart's ministries. Great ministry, great ministers and I am honored and blessed to say that I will have the privilege of working under them. Also, total confirmation that the Lord is working, some men who have no clue who I am, have the same heart that I do when it comes to starting this company. Talk about a God movement. So excited.

After all of that yummy goodness, I began making the video for my mother-in-law. She spoke tonight at a woman's conference on the joys of adoption and what it has done for her life. 
http://youtu.be/cw76sss7UeI ta-da..enjoy.
Had dinner with my parents...husband played softball...he rode on a motorcycle...attractive. I know. I married him. Now time to cozy up for bed.


It's great getting to type my heart out. Therapeutic. Crazy, yes. But it is fun.


Blessings.

Rest.

It's only 10:26am and already my body wants to sink back into my pillow top mattress and sleep for the rest of the day. I'm not too sure what's wrong with me...but do you think I made a doctor's appointment? No. Why? Because they will tell me what I know...slow down, rest, work out. Slowing down is difficult because I am so many things to so many people. Their "go-to", their "encouragement", their "comfort", their "best friend".  Resting!? My mind doesn't shut off at night. I lay in bed and think of everything that has to get done...and when i'll be able to get it done. Work out!? Oh right...running sounds REAL attractive with a headache and upset stomach...and with no sleep? (insert Texan accent) I ain't got no energy for that! The truth is, I have to stop making excuses and fix it. 

This quote came out of the book Crazy Love written by Frances Chan. GREAT BOOK. 

This is washing over my heart this morning...

"He loves it when we, gripped with doubt and fear that He will not be enough, turn the gaze of our souls to Him in hope. He loves to prove himself faithful and more than enough to satisfy our hungry souls. when we do turn to Him, our souls rest and we are saved. again. and again."

I feel like the Lord is revealing to me that I am taking control of my life. I'm the one who is trying to fix everyone and everything. I'm the one who has all the answers. I'm the one people are coming to because I have an answer for them. Yes, the Lord does give me words...but am I taking the place of God for people? Is that why i'm tired? Is that why i'm sick? My soul is exhausted because I haven't been pointing or turning to Him in way too long. It's time to take the back seat, time to humble myself before the cross and allow Him to take the reigns. My favorite scripture is from Zephaniah 3:17... 

"The Lord your God is with you; 

       the mighty One will save you.
    He will rejoice over you.
       You will rest in his love;
       he will sing and be joyful about you"

I know these are not just words in a leather bound book. I know this to be true. I MUST let Him love me, and that love directs and corrects. When I allow His love to win...I can rest in knowing that He is here.

I pray for your heart as well. To know and believe in His heart. Rest well, my friends...your body needs it too.

Why not?

Well, this is my first time blogging...if you don't count the Xanga I had many years back. I figured this would be a great place to put my emotions. So here we go.

I got married July 8, 2011, and I absolutely love the married life. I suggest it to everyone. There is nothing like falling asleep and waking up to your best friend and lover. It's a party 24/7. Yes we fight, yes there are tears, yes he frustrates me and I frustrate him...but I wouldn't trade it in for the world.

Being married, I have seen a new side of me. The "domestic" side. I actually ENJOY having a clean house and delicious meals. If you know me, and have ever lived with me, you know that this is strange. It's more difficult than I thought to keep your house clean!!! It's also very difficult to stay romantic. Especially with my husband and I's hectic schedules. It's no wonder that so many marriages are falling apart, their time is devoted to work NOT to each other. So we have decided that I am going to be a stay at home "lover" for awhile. (I like that phrase.) I will still be an active in the areas of my passions but my responsibilities will be devoted to God and my husband. I think it will help our marriage drastically. I'll let you know how it goes!

My husband is at band practice...attractive? I know! :) So I will find time to clean the kitchen and tidy up around the house and maybe even pour me a glass of wine and slip into a bubble bath. Yes and Amen.