Today.

Thank you God for a beautiful day. Today, God was with me. Today, I listened to His voice. Today, I feel like God is pleased with me. Today, my heart is good. I loved today...
If only my voice would come back, and it would stop hurting. :/ Tylenol PM...here I come.

On a humorous note...I read this today and it's all too true!!

DARLING HUSBAND, I PROMISE…

"…to keep mum about all the Hall & Oates tunes on your iPod."

"…to overlook the fact that you yawn like Chewbacca."

"…that five minutes after I agree to watch a game with you, I will not start asking, 'Are you planning to watch the whole thing?'" 

"…to Swiffer your side of the bed the next time you're out of town and I let the dog sleep there."

"…not to make you play Peter Pan to my Wendy on Halloween again. You did look gay."

DARLING WIFE, I PROMISE…

"…that I didn't know how expensive your tweezers were when I used them to pull that mystery clump out of the drain." 

"…to stop pretending I've forgotten how to fold the towels 'the right way' (a.k.a. your way)."

"…to accept that sometimes when you ask for a massage, you really just want a massage." 

"…to understand that it's not exactly kosher to say, 'How did parents as crazy as yours get a daughter as normal as you?'"

"…to never again make honking noises as I grab your breasts."

Conspiracies.

I am sick to my stomach over people who think everything in life is a conspiracy theory...
Basically they have looked hurt and broken husbands, wives, parents, siblings and children and said "they died for nothing more than a lie" or "they are nothing but a lie". I in turn want to say to them, get off your high horse. You do NOT have all of the answers and you are NOT living a life worthy of honor. I too do not have all of the answers but I refuse to point fingers and place blame. I believe in the good of man and I will encourage others to do the same.

For you.

Dear friend,


"God is NOT happy with disaster, death, disease, divorce...it breaks His heart. Scripture says that He is near to the broken hearted. Why? Not to sprinkle pixie dust and say, all better...but to comfort us and cry along with us. He promises that one day when "every knee bows" we will have everlasting life...every tear will be wiped away and we will live in TRUE PEACE.

There will be days when life hurts. Babies die every day, innocent 5 year olds are diagnosed with cancer. God did not plan for that. He cried and said, one day it will be better. One day you will see her again, but for now I promise to hug you and comfort you....but if we don't ACCEPT the hug and the words...then that is our fault not His.

I hope and pray that you will choose Him. I can't take the pain away, or give you 10 steps to fix life's promises. But I can tell you that there is much more comfort knowing that the creator of the heavens, earth, sun, moon, ocean, stars...is crying with you and loves you MORE than creation.

Go read the book Crazy Love by Frances Chan. It's an easy read and it will help you to understand God's love. DO IT. PLEASE.

I love you. I'm praying for you."

Love, 

Me

Death.

Death hurts. Death breaks people down. Death is NOT God created. 


1 Corinthians 15:54-57 When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written: “Death is swallowed up in victory.” “O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?” The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.


^ this scripture says "WHEN the mortal puts on immorality" "THEN shall come to pass"...right now, there is sting, death has won...we are living in a sinful world. God is NOT happy with death. God is NOT pleased with death. He does NOT find joy in death.


We look at the story of Lazarus. 

John 11:33-36

 ³³ When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. ³⁴ “Where have you laid him?” he asked.
   “Come and see, Lord,” they replied.
 ³⁵ Jesus wept.

JESUS WEPT!!! He did not correct them in hurting, He too was hurting. Death is NOT a good thing. God is not to blame for this. God is near to the brokenhearted weeps alongside us. Run into His arms, not away with a blaming mouth. He did not create this. 


Michelle Patterson put it best in her song "In love with forever"

My heart was not made to endure such distress
the grief and the tearing and the dying of death 
and I can't comprehend that i'm without that one 
I was in love with forever 
I was in love with forever


I was not designed to filter this pain 
with any sense made of it or good to be gained 
and I don't understand this harsh parting of ways 
I was in love with forever 
I was in love with forever


They say You don't ask us to do anything 
that cannont be done, but this cannont be done 
my heart will be bleeding all over this mess
I am in love with forever 
I am in love with forever


Long as i'm wasting and falling apart 
long as I'm hoping for hope for my heart 
long as my feet are still touching this dirt 
i'll be in love with forever 
i'll be in love with forever


Don't blame God for this. He didn't create it...sin created it. God has LIFE designed for His children. One day...we will live and live forever in the way God has created us to live. 

Forgiveness.

I forgave an old friend today. A friend who put herself before me. A friend who allowed my heart to hurt and not care. A friend who lied and twisted words to her benefit. I prayed for her, with genuine love. With words that have spoken over me when I put myself first, when I have hurt others hearts and not cared. I forgave her because I wanted to breathe...and now I can. My heart is good. My heart is light. My heart is happy. Forgiveness is for me, not for her. I choose to let it go, and let her live and in turn let me live.

Thank you Jesus for this freedom you have given me.

What a day

I have a nasty sinus infection that has taken over my life. gross. go away. But, tried to make the most of my day anyways.

Headed to Novel Approach this morning to gather scrap booking goodies for my surprise present for my dad's 60th! So excited to be giving it to him...I hope he cries. Is that awful? Had a lovely heart talk with the manager, Melissa Pride. She is so great. Go be her friend.

Once getting home I got a call from my mentor/director/close friend, Jessica with good news :) I love receiving good news. The dance company/training/discipleship program that we have been praying for is going to be supported by Kingdom Heart's ministries. Great ministry, great ministers and I am honored and blessed to say that I will have the privilege of working under them. Also, total confirmation that the Lord is working, some men who have no clue who I am, have the same heart that I do when it comes to starting this company. Talk about a God movement. So excited.

After all of that yummy goodness, I began making the video for my mother-in-law. She spoke tonight at a woman's conference on the joys of adoption and what it has done for her life. 
http://youtu.be/cw76sss7UeI ta-da..enjoy.
Had dinner with my parents...husband played softball...he rode on a motorcycle...attractive. I know. I married him. Now time to cozy up for bed.


It's great getting to type my heart out. Therapeutic. Crazy, yes. But it is fun.


Blessings.

Rest.

It's only 10:26am and already my body wants to sink back into my pillow top mattress and sleep for the rest of the day. I'm not too sure what's wrong with me...but do you think I made a doctor's appointment? No. Why? Because they will tell me what I know...slow down, rest, work out. Slowing down is difficult because I am so many things to so many people. Their "go-to", their "encouragement", their "comfort", their "best friend".  Resting!? My mind doesn't shut off at night. I lay in bed and think of everything that has to get done...and when i'll be able to get it done. Work out!? Oh right...running sounds REAL attractive with a headache and upset stomach...and with no sleep? (insert Texan accent) I ain't got no energy for that! The truth is, I have to stop making excuses and fix it. 

This quote came out of the book Crazy Love written by Frances Chan. GREAT BOOK. 

This is washing over my heart this morning...

"He loves it when we, gripped with doubt and fear that He will not be enough, turn the gaze of our souls to Him in hope. He loves to prove himself faithful and more than enough to satisfy our hungry souls. when we do turn to Him, our souls rest and we are saved. again. and again."

I feel like the Lord is revealing to me that I am taking control of my life. I'm the one who is trying to fix everyone and everything. I'm the one who has all the answers. I'm the one people are coming to because I have an answer for them. Yes, the Lord does give me words...but am I taking the place of God for people? Is that why i'm tired? Is that why i'm sick? My soul is exhausted because I haven't been pointing or turning to Him in way too long. It's time to take the back seat, time to humble myself before the cross and allow Him to take the reigns. My favorite scripture is from Zephaniah 3:17... 

"The Lord your God is with you; 

       the mighty One will save you.
    He will rejoice over you.
       You will rest in his love;
       he will sing and be joyful about you"

I know these are not just words in a leather bound book. I know this to be true. I MUST let Him love me, and that love directs and corrects. When I allow His love to win...I can rest in knowing that He is here.

I pray for your heart as well. To know and believe in His heart. Rest well, my friends...your body needs it too.

Why not?

Well, this is my first time blogging...if you don't count the Xanga I had many years back. I figured this would be a great place to put my emotions. So here we go.

I got married July 8, 2011, and I absolutely love the married life. I suggest it to everyone. There is nothing like falling asleep and waking up to your best friend and lover. It's a party 24/7. Yes we fight, yes there are tears, yes he frustrates me and I frustrate him...but I wouldn't trade it in for the world.

Being married, I have seen a new side of me. The "domestic" side. I actually ENJOY having a clean house and delicious meals. If you know me, and have ever lived with me, you know that this is strange. It's more difficult than I thought to keep your house clean!!! It's also very difficult to stay romantic. Especially with my husband and I's hectic schedules. It's no wonder that so many marriages are falling apart, their time is devoted to work NOT to each other. So we have decided that I am going to be a stay at home "lover" for awhile. (I like that phrase.) I will still be an active in the areas of my passions but my responsibilities will be devoted to God and my husband. I think it will help our marriage drastically. I'll let you know how it goes!

My husband is at band practice...attractive? I know! :) So I will find time to clean the kitchen and tidy up around the house and maybe even pour me a glass of wine and slip into a bubble bath. Yes and Amen.